You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
