There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
