He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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