just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
