You work out of a Hotel?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
