It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
