So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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