Me too!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
