i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
did you just send me my own nude
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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