they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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