HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
