So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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