I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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