i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize