Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
