if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
