Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize