shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Still dying that you shit outside
You are the jesus of drinking
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
