they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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