Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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