I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
