Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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