how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
