he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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