Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
