so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Quick, to the slutcave!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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