i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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