No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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