I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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