I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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