I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
