dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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