Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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