so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
