Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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