no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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