Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
