I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
vagina is talking i cant
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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