dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
