we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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