i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
