To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
