dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
