but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How does one acquire holy water?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
