Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize