this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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