I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
