So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Girls should come with a carfax report
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize