none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
