Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it's like iHOP with fire
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
