I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
