If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm both gender and math confused
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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