It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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