is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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