we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize