I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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