We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
