Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize