Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
