I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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