There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
