have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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