Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
