My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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