I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
