You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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