take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
