remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
