Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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