i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
two words: eviction party
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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