wrigley field is MILF paradise
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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