One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
