Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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