come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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