True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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