By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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