I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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