there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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