how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
