You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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