fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
