...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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